Wednesday, December 31, 2008

teen drinking is very wrong....

soo ive decided to go out tonight...where i dont know...i guess ive been dwelling in my misery all week because I havent had the energy to get off the couch; but now i do. here are some of the pix from the last few times goin out...
sweaty but fun.
LALA my alter ego.

this is only funny because i dont dance at the clubs. DONT DRINK.

stuck in front of riddims. locked my keys in the car.

me and freaky frank. old roomate..yes it was hot in the club.
yo no se?
ooh la la

i want yo line heyyy jazz...ETO fall 2008. TNT..we all we got lmao

Me and my wife...HEAT.

no comments. dont even know why i posted this but oh well.

bathroom pix are always nice.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I cant see it comin down my eyes; So I gotta make this blog cry....

the world went bazurk when 2k0 its just the new year...
i think the only thing i could possibly ask for is peace of mind.
ive realized that i spent too much time indulging in my thoughts. one thing i learned is that the only thing that matters is what you think of yourself.
i find myself thinking a lot of what could have been:
i could have been in school for law....i could have been at S.C.A.D (Savannah College of Art & Design)..i could have been close to graduating...
but then I think...I could have been popping out babies...working at McDonalds (CFA lol)..ahh not being able to lead the lifestyle I am accustomed to.
MOTTO OF 09: shit happens...just blow it off.
* subconscious--that major that she majoring in dont make no money..she aint gone quit cause her parents will look at her funny.
so now that ive moved past && accepted me whats next..? I think ive spent enough time convincing myself of my its time to show the world.
hello world,
I think i am always overlooked because I dont bother showing everyone what I can do. Im through being satisfied with myself. Lauryn Hill says we spend too much time wasting time replacing time. *read it again if you have to. 09 is the year to make up time. after reading my blogs people ask me that dreadful question: whats next. the only reason i hate it is because i dont know.
*ugh. writers block. attention is gettin too thick for my sober mind to cut through. lol
anywhoo. in college you are questioned daily about your future. (blatant or indirectly) ive had this conversation with a lot of people and hopefully it comes out right. once i graduate i plan to move to (you all should know by now but..) nyc. many people have tried to discourage me based off of material things.
ill be honest..i never grew up having to wonder. wonder whether i'd have all the essential neccessities required in life. it even went as far as never having to wonder if id get the things i wanted. im constantly ridiculed for wanting to live a lifestyle that is guaranteed not to compare; i look foolish. I have accepted the idea that i will be living like a hippie for a while, esp. since it is hard to get any job in communications.
now im about to start rambling again so ill leave it at this.
we all are just the first to admit it.
OMG. plz scroll down and play Nas-If heaven was a mile away...if its not already playing.
*im so serious everytime i write my john hancock.

p.s. if you havent already read Reasonable Doubt. i urge you to. i dedicate that to 08.

if heaven was a mile away?

would i pack up my bag(s) n leave this world behind...? --lol i L O V E Nasir bin Olu Dara Jones.
*naw...i love life && im livin it.
I guess you can call this my end of the year post. The ability to the remember is one of my most prized possessions...Youll understand later!
08...I have to give this year kudos mainly because of everything 'it' has taught me.
"Men lie...Women lie...Numbers don't.."--Jz.
Seven Pounds should be this years movie of choice. After watching it I learned the importance of realizing our mistakes, concentrating on today (because tomorrow is never promised), and also the glory in doing for others.

*Random: but dont you miss diss songs? lol it might sound crazy but think back to Ether, and Got myself a gun....ahh. The crazy part is they're inseparable now.

ive realized my love for reggae. buju banton. sizzla. Its probably the beat. Even more the fact that majority of it is positive.

I left most of my search of me. To this day I still dont know what that means. The "perfect" life in everyone elses eyes: Satisfactory grades, friends, job, relations...not to mention the tons of inexplicable nights of fun. What more did i need? The anwser is coming soon.
I had the chance to go to NYC; spent most of my time in BK. 2nd time in my life && saw things I never would have imagined. [Bedstie isnt that bad] Met up with 2 of the greatest girls in the (we shall reunite soon!)

Expanded my outlook on the world and my place in it.
Fall 08. ETO. Learned a lot. Experienced a lot. Hated a lot. lol. For some reason I think everyone should take part in something greater than themselves. This was my outlet. I thought that if I joined this organization I'd be able to not only learn from others but dish out the many thoughts and ideas I have accumulated.

3 deaths... Friend. 2 family members. enough said.
I guess you can say I was able to transplant myself out of my element this year.

I don't do New Year's Resolutions..mainly because I don't really think I could ever stop myself from doing something I truly wanted to do. Not to say that I don't want to change some of the things in my life, but I refuse to place regulations on my life.
09...gathering my culture.
[just tryna make you feel it like i mispronounced fillet.]


Monday, December 29, 2008


just got started but add:

Kirkland Bizzangz..

Kirk, Kirkland, Kirko Bangz...whether you call him by his God-given, or his alias the effect is still there.

Not quite sure why I'm writing this but I am sure we will figure it out soon. Over the years I have realized that you can't call many people your friends. For those that know me Ive never been good at giving people titles...(may be the reason ive never really had a "boyfriend"). Anywhoo thats besides the point. Ive come to realize that a true friend is someone you can be away from for a long period of time and when you are reunited you both are on the same page. You are able to do without the awkward time lapse that has occurred. A friend is someone that can hold u up without actually being there or saying anything.

* Reasonable Doubt- 05 - Feelin' it.

My FRIEND kirk....lmao. Like me he turned over a new leaf, and is now taking charge of his destiny. I once heard that if you are naturally good at what you do then you dont neccesarily need to go to school (college that is); & in essence your diploma is pretty much a proof of purchase. [Erika of Missbehave blog] For some reason I believe that statement to apply to the both of us.

Anyway if you didnt know already Kirk is a 19-year old lyricist developed in the 'mean' streets of Houston TX. lol or not. Anyway after following his music for the past year I've realized that his unique voice allows him to disengage his self from the stereotypical norms associated with the average rapper. I wouldnt do this if he wasnt good lol. Now its your turn to support my friend by pleasuring yourself to the stylistic tunes of Kirko Bangz.
* Feel free to check him out on myspace:
[lol is that good enough]

Sunday, December 28, 2008

reflections of a sinistered teen.

Some of my favorite pictures:

SCARYcherry..i love her.
just random fotos in bk.

Ahh...My Dear Stacy,
Lol the butt of all my jokes.
Just Kidding. Anywhoo I actually was only trying to show off the outfit I put together for her.

This was some random guy I ran into in BK. His appearance was really neat yet risky. Amateur. I was trying to emphasize on his tattoos. But you cant really tell.

These next few pictures were taken at the Brooklyn museum. I was very happy these individuals let me photograph them.

With the exception for Ms. Cherry and her sister Alexus, they all assumed I was already an established photographer so they went out of their way to take pictures for me.
One of the things I loved the most there was the culture. Though we were at something similar to a Reggae festival, The BK museum brought out people of all types and brought out the best in them including me!

Mohawk[s] nuff said!

Some people say you know we cant believe. Jamaica we have a bobsled team.

What can I say Jamaicans are GRRREAT..! Fun times!

These two photos show Cherry n Alexus indulging in a portion of their culture. Gotta love em.
I love'm.
"boom bye bye like buju im crucial"
MAN i cant wait to get back....

Bottom Left: I was sittin on the stairs in Union Square and I saw so much going on. People dancing, eating, walking, running, talking, fighting. So much going on in one spot. I had to capture it.

Stace-o with the or vesta the molesta. Take it however she wants to give it to ya. Capturing the true essence of her fro was the meaning behind this pic...or not it just sounded good. Riding the shuttle..2 hrs. straight. wouldnt have been right without a photo shoot.

&& LAST BUT NOT LEAST: My wife. Totally in a fictional sense. No matter what happens she will always be there. When I say wife I do not mean in a intimate kind of way; but where no one can be compared.
Thick n thin.
lol anyway this picture was taken at school at Casino Night. once again another off guard picture...These are always the best!!!!
.....i think i love my wife lmao.
* Disclaimer: All of these pictures were taken during my everyday life and were not meant for anything particular.

(late) hi, MY NAME IS:


I decided to write this post so that I could finally give a precise idea of who I am.
I am the middle child; always outcasted as the bad seed when in reality I was just adventerous. A sophomore at Prairie View A&M University where for once in my life I am surrounded by people who look like me. (HBCU)
One thing I desperately want to perfect is my writing. Though I LOVE to write and I feel that I have no boundaries in doing so; I know that it could be stronger.

I firmly believe in self-expression no matter how you do it. I love and respect every aspect of it from writing, fashion, singing, and even documenting.

Photography is something I believe will set me free. Though it might seem as if I am taking pictures I really am documenting and expressing my feelings at that moment.

I am moving to Brooklyn this summer so I can get a taste of the lifestyle in addition to proving to everyone that NYC is the perfect place for me. I spent a lot of time contemplating whether I was making the right decision or not merely because I figured I would end up living like a hippie.

In highschool I spent too much time trying to determine what I would major in when in reality I knew all a long. I guess you can say I didnt think my passion would bring me fortune. My initial defense was that I love to talk so hey major in communications; completely ignoring the many signs that I grew a passion for writing over the years. Now that I have given myself goals and set forth a pretty concrete plan on how I shall get there all other things are essentially irrelevant.


forgive them father for they know not what theyve done.

Merry Christmas to all....
Eventhough I am beyond late.
I am highly enthused everytime I think about this christmas. Christmas 2008 is the start of a wonderful future. I cannot thank my parents enough for their investment. I recieved a Nikon D60, my first DSLR camera as a present.
AHH. a new beginning.
For the record, I have no experience at photography; only vision.

p.s. i saw mommy kiss'n santa clause.



a thinking wo[MAN] brave enough to dictate the acute thoughts that her peers ignore. --LF

theres a reason for every season && god places the people which surround you for a reason.
no longer afraid to get out there and through viewing myself as a liability.
i was blessed to recieve many words/thoughts of wisdom from someone who seems to be a mirror image of myself...just a tad bit experienced.
some of her thoughts:

-If you feel like your skills are pretty much there (or pretty damn close to it), then the next best thing is to market yourself.

-You are essentially selling yourself, and if you wouldn't buy you, no one else will.

-You must make an effort, you must be patient, and you must strike when the iron is hot.

-Be unique, be original, be passionate, be intelligent, don't let setbacks stop you, be graceful under pressure, and basically be incredibly confident. You know you're the shit, now prove it to everyone else.

words cannot express my gratitude.



Reasonable Doubt.

all these eyes.

laughter from behind may have been misconstrued as green eyes looking down when in reality they were looking up. no one can be expected to fully understand without experience. sometimes our only motivation is other people. but at the end of the day i have to inspire myself w/ the refusal to live for others.
you are who you are when no one is around. "emancipate yourself from mental slavery." --bob marley.

everyone has a story to tell && im only on chapter 2. when will it be ready to be told. no one will ever know the real story. beyond tired of wasting time replacing time. life is defined by experience.

i am the cornerstone of my success. outside looking in im right where i began.contrary to public beliefs im where i need to be.who are u to determine the volume of my accomplishments.maybe because the things i cherish most are intangible?

2009, and still my words seem to be the only thing i can hold on to.hi-definition....maybe?never fully understood when they said knowledge is power but now it all makes sense.the re-birth.