Wednesday, December 31, 2008

teen drinking is very wrong....

soo ive decided to go out tonight...where i dont know...i guess ive been dwelling in my misery all week because I havent had the energy to get off the couch; but now i do. here are some of the pix from the last few times goin out...
sweaty but fun.
LALA my alter ego.

this is only funny because i dont dance at the clubs. DONT DRINK.

stuck in front of riddims. locked my keys in the car.

me and freaky frank. old roomate..yes it was hot in the club.
yo no se?
ooh la la

i want yo line heyyy jazz...ETO fall 2008. TNT..we all we got lmao

Me and my wife...HEAT.

no comments. dont even know why i posted this but oh well.

bathroom pix are always nice.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I cant see it comin down my eyes; So I gotta make this blog cry....

the world went bazurk when 2k0 its just the new year...
i think the only thing i could possibly ask for is peace of mind.
ive realized that i spent too much time indulging in my thoughts. one thing i learned is that the only thing that matters is what you think of yourself.
i find myself thinking a lot of what could have been:
i could have been in school for law....i could have been at S.C.A.D (Savannah College of Art & Design)..i could have been close to graduating...
but then I think...I could have been popping out babies...working at McDonalds (CFA lol)..ahh not being able to lead the lifestyle I am accustomed to.
MOTTO OF 09: shit happens...just blow it off.
* subconscious--that major that she majoring in dont make no money..she aint gone quit cause her parents will look at her funny.
so now that ive moved past && accepted me whats next..? I think ive spent enough time convincing myself of my its time to show the world.
hello world,
I think i am always overlooked because I dont bother showing everyone what I can do. Im through being satisfied with myself. Lauryn Hill says we spend too much time wasting time replacing time. *read it again if you have to. 09 is the year to make up time. after reading my blogs people ask me that dreadful question: whats next. the only reason i hate it is because i dont know.
*ugh. writers block. attention is gettin too thick for my sober mind to cut through. lol
anywhoo. in college you are questioned daily about your future. (blatant or indirectly) ive had this conversation with a lot of people and hopefully it comes out right. once i graduate i plan to move to (you all should know by now but..) nyc. many people have tried to discourage me based off of material things.
ill be honest..i never grew up having to wonder. wonder whether i'd have all the essential neccessities required in life. it even went as far as never having to wonder if id get the things i wanted. im constantly ridiculed for wanting to live a lifestyle that is guaranteed not to compare; i look foolish. I have accepted the idea that i will be living like a hippie for a while, esp. since it is hard to get any job in communications.
now im about to start rambling again so ill leave it at this.
we all are just the first to admit it.
OMG. plz scroll down and play Nas-If heaven was a mile away...if its not already playing.
*im so serious everytime i write my john hancock.

p.s. if you havent already read Reasonable Doubt. i urge you to. i dedicate that to 08.

if heaven was a mile away?

would i pack up my bag(s) n leave this world behind...? --lol i L O V E Nasir bin Olu Dara Jones.
*naw...i love life && im livin it.
I guess you can call this my end of the year post. The ability to the remember is one of my most prized possessions...Youll understand later!
08...I have to give this year kudos mainly because of everything 'it' has taught me.
"Men lie...Women lie...Numbers don't.."--Jz.
Seven Pounds should be this years movie of choice. After watching it I learned the importance of realizing our mistakes, concentrating on today (because tomorrow is never promised), and also the glory in doing for others.

*Random: but dont you miss diss songs? lol it might sound crazy but think back to Ether, and Got myself a gun....ahh. The crazy part is they're inseparable now.

ive realized my love for reggae. buju banton. sizzla. Its probably the beat. Even more the fact that majority of it is positive.

I left most of my search of me. To this day I still dont know what that means. The "perfect" life in everyone elses eyes: Satisfactory grades, friends, job, relations...not to mention the tons of inexplicable nights of fun. What more did i need? The anwser is coming soon.
I had the chance to go to NYC; spent most of my time in BK. 2nd time in my life && saw things I never would have imagined. [Bedstie isnt that bad] Met up with 2 of the greatest girls in the (we shall reunite soon!)

Expanded my outlook on the world and my place in it.
Fall 08. ETO. Learned a lot. Experienced a lot. Hated a lot. lol. For some reason I think everyone should take part in something greater than themselves. This was my outlet. I thought that if I joined this organization I'd be able to not only learn from others but dish out the many thoughts and ideas I have accumulated.

3 deaths... Friend. 2 family members. enough said.
I guess you can say I was able to transplant myself out of my element this year.

I don't do New Year's Resolutions..mainly because I don't really think I could ever stop myself from doing something I truly wanted to do. Not to say that I don't want to change some of the things in my life, but I refuse to place regulations on my life.
09...gathering my culture.
[just tryna make you feel it like i mispronounced fillet.]


Monday, December 29, 2008


just got started but add:

Kirkland Bizzangz..

Kirk, Kirkland, Kirko Bangz...whether you call him by his God-given, or his alias the effect is still there.

Not quite sure why I'm writing this but I am sure we will figure it out soon. Over the years I have realized that you can't call many people your friends. For those that know me Ive never been good at giving people titles...(may be the reason ive never really had a "boyfriend"). Anywhoo thats besides the point. Ive come to realize that a true friend is someone you can be away from for a long period of time and when you are reunited you both are on the same page. You are able to do without the awkward time lapse that has occurred. A friend is someone that can hold u up without actually being there or saying anything.

* Reasonable Doubt- 05 - Feelin' it.

My FRIEND kirk....lmao. Like me he turned over a new leaf, and is now taking charge of his destiny. I once heard that if you are naturally good at what you do then you dont neccesarily need to go to school (college that is); & in essence your diploma is pretty much a proof of purchase. [Erika of Missbehave blog] For some reason I believe that statement to apply to the both of us.

Anyway if you didnt know already Kirk is a 19-year old lyricist developed in the 'mean' streets of Houston TX. lol or not. Anyway after following his music for the past year I've realized that his unique voice allows him to disengage his self from the stereotypical norms associated with the average rapper. I wouldnt do this if he wasnt good lol. Now its your turn to support my friend by pleasuring yourself to the stylistic tunes of Kirko Bangz.
* Feel free to check him out on myspace:
[lol is that good enough]

Sunday, December 28, 2008

reflections of a sinistered teen.

Some of my favorite pictures:

SCARYcherry..i love her.
just random fotos in bk.

Ahh...My Dear Stacy,
Lol the butt of all my jokes.
Just Kidding. Anywhoo I actually was only trying to show off the outfit I put together for her.

This was some random guy I ran into in BK. His appearance was really neat yet risky. Amateur. I was trying to emphasize on his tattoos. But you cant really tell.

These next few pictures were taken at the Brooklyn museum. I was very happy these individuals let me photograph them.

With the exception for Ms. Cherry and her sister Alexus, they all assumed I was already an established photographer so they went out of their way to take pictures for me.
One of the things I loved the most there was the culture. Though we were at something similar to a Reggae festival, The BK museum brought out people of all types and brought out the best in them including me!

Mohawk[s] nuff said!

Some people say you know we cant believe. Jamaica we have a bobsled team.

What can I say Jamaicans are GRRREAT..! Fun times!

These two photos show Cherry n Alexus indulging in a portion of their culture. Gotta love em.
I love'm.
"boom bye bye like buju im crucial"
MAN i cant wait to get back....

Bottom Left: I was sittin on the stairs in Union Square and I saw so much going on. People dancing, eating, walking, running, talking, fighting. So much going on in one spot. I had to capture it.

Stace-o with the or vesta the molesta. Take it however she wants to give it to ya. Capturing the true essence of her fro was the meaning behind this pic...or not it just sounded good. Riding the shuttle..2 hrs. straight. wouldnt have been right without a photo shoot.

&& LAST BUT NOT LEAST: My wife. Totally in a fictional sense. No matter what happens she will always be there. When I say wife I do not mean in a intimate kind of way; but where no one can be compared.
Thick n thin.
lol anyway this picture was taken at school at Casino Night. once again another off guard picture...These are always the best!!!!
.....i think i love my wife lmao.
* Disclaimer: All of these pictures were taken during my everyday life and were not meant for anything particular.

(late) hi, MY NAME IS:


I decided to write this post so that I could finally give a precise idea of who I am.
I am the middle child; always outcasted as the bad seed when in reality I was just adventerous. A sophomore at Prairie View A&M University where for once in my life I am surrounded by people who look like me. (HBCU)
One thing I desperately want to perfect is my writing. Though I LOVE to write and I feel that I have no boundaries in doing so; I know that it could be stronger.

I firmly believe in self-expression no matter how you do it. I love and respect every aspect of it from writing, fashion, singing, and even documenting.

Photography is something I believe will set me free. Though it might seem as if I am taking pictures I really am documenting and expressing my feelings at that moment.

I am moving to Brooklyn this summer so I can get a taste of the lifestyle in addition to proving to everyone that NYC is the perfect place for me. I spent a lot of time contemplating whether I was making the right decision or not merely because I figured I would end up living like a hippie.

In highschool I spent too much time trying to determine what I would major in when in reality I knew all a long. I guess you can say I didnt think my passion would bring me fortune. My initial defense was that I love to talk so hey major in communications; completely ignoring the many signs that I grew a passion for writing over the years. Now that I have given myself goals and set forth a pretty concrete plan on how I shall get there all other things are essentially irrelevant.


forgive them father for they know not what theyve done.

Merry Christmas to all....
Eventhough I am beyond late.
I am highly enthused everytime I think about this christmas. Christmas 2008 is the start of a wonderful future. I cannot thank my parents enough for their investment. I recieved a Nikon D60, my first DSLR camera as a present.
AHH. a new beginning.
For the record, I have no experience at photography; only vision.

p.s. i saw mommy kiss'n santa clause.



a thinking wo[MAN] brave enough to dictate the acute thoughts that her peers ignore. --LF

theres a reason for every season && god places the people which surround you for a reason.
no longer afraid to get out there and through viewing myself as a liability.
i was blessed to recieve many words/thoughts of wisdom from someone who seems to be a mirror image of myself...just a tad bit experienced.
some of her thoughts:

-If you feel like your skills are pretty much there (or pretty damn close to it), then the next best thing is to market yourself.

-You are essentially selling yourself, and if you wouldn't buy you, no one else will.

-You must make an effort, you must be patient, and you must strike when the iron is hot.

-Be unique, be original, be passionate, be intelligent, don't let setbacks stop you, be graceful under pressure, and basically be incredibly confident. You know you're the shit, now prove it to everyone else.

words cannot express my gratitude.



Reasonable Doubt.

all these eyes.

laughter from behind may have been misconstrued as green eyes looking down when in reality they were looking up. no one can be expected to fully understand without experience. sometimes our only motivation is other people. but at the end of the day i have to inspire myself w/ the refusal to live for others.
you are who you are when no one is around. "emancipate yourself from mental slavery." --bob marley.

everyone has a story to tell && im only on chapter 2. when will it be ready to be told. no one will ever know the real story. beyond tired of wasting time replacing time. life is defined by experience.

i am the cornerstone of my success. outside looking in im right where i began.contrary to public beliefs im where i need to be.who are u to determine the volume of my accomplishments.maybe because the things i cherish most are intangible?

2009, and still my words seem to be the only thing i can hold on to.hi-definition....maybe?never fully understood when they said knowledge is power but now it all makes sense.the re-birth.


Wednesday, August 6, 2008


i say scary because this transformation is very a good way....

its amazing how u can reunite with someone you were never really close with and find out that you two have soo much in common.
coincidental or destiny...? Me and Cherry ran into eachother in XXi, which I wasnt planning on going to until I remembered that I didnt have anything to wear.
I thought i was going crazy because I didnt think it was possible to just run into somebody in New York City..
To make a long story short....I am absolutely in love with New York and so happy that I was able to meet the people that I did.

For those who dont know I am interested in a career in fashion....anything behind the scenes.... I wanted to spend my second trip in NY focusing on the people and the diversity that I was surrounded by. I also wanted to capture the true essence of NY. SOOO what I focused on was taking pictures.
Cherry and one of our RASTAmen.


Wednesday, July 30, 2008

ok, mas.

walk the brooklyn bridge.
international museum of photography.
Greenwich Village --Rays pizza.
central park
madison square garden.
yankee stadium
empire state building.
wtc site again.
statue of lib.
5th avenue.
flea markets.
check misscrew.
fashion center.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008


i might not be able to afford some nice brownstone in the midst of manhattan, or the new louis vuitton lcd bag...BUT i am going to NYC for the second time in my lifetime. i am in desperate need of a companion, yet due to the time delay it is hard to find someone fit.
ahh the opportunity.........since i spent most of my time last time shopping, i plan on doing EVERYTHING i didnt get a chance to do last time.
Harlem...visit the apollo. I want to visit bryan park...the site of NY fashion week...statue of liberty....every borough. Definitely want to go to the tyra show but unfortunately it is full until the end of august. uhhhhhh staten island. GO SEE COURTNEY. times square. soho. little italy. china town.
ahh cant want.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

yu buggin what. yu buggin who. yu buggin me && cant u see it aint cool.

LEAVE ME ALONE. for those who know me its not stalker boy. hehe its a new one.
man i dont understand u dudes at all.....
now i know im known to be ___________ (fill in the blank) but geesh youre not even giving me a chance to change. Its like you all are the same. The reason why I was forced to write this blog is because for the past week i have had...hold on let me count..21 missed PRIVATE calls...2 of these i anwsered...and got NO response..just heard this loser breathing on the other end.. That is really are old as heck and have no reason to be playing on my phone.

No porsh its not even what youre never even got that crucial between us.
ANYWAY to you know who.....Do not call me if you dont have anything to say...especially from a private number. Clearly childish. i havent talked to u in 3 months...plz dont try to call now.
man, i am like truly disgusted. leave me alone for the hundredth time. all i meet is mr. ALWAYS-wrong. where is mr. hell im through looking....

for sb2. (stalker boy 2) a few hints:
1. call me on my phone...
2. open up your mouth...
3. everything you do...

dang bee u said it best..!

Monday, July 21, 2008

no mas lip liner. 99'

hehe watchin some show on BET and heard that.
i always wash my hands before i eat..!
take it how u want to.
i really have no point for this just really bored.
SOO i am # 41 on the list to recieve the Black Issue of Vogue Italia once it comes...which is like never........yall may not understand how much of a big deal this is.......I think once i get my magazine I will get it framed....You know what i might just buy 2 so i wont have to open one.....soo excited. On ebay they are going for 400 dollars...well thats if you want each which there are 4.
In case you didnt know...or if no ones reading i guess ill just mention it to myself again...I hope to work for Vogue one day. As a fashion editor. After years of working there I want to start my own magazine publication which concentrates on Fashion.... pause for the cause...why is the lady's name on this movie ANNA MAE? OOh yall do us SO wrong.........Oh yeah i was watching this cartoon the other day and the little elephant was supposed to be black so they named her Natasha. I was so offended...Ok finish later.

no more MARTIN?


in 3 more Marcus. No one to laugh with or go out and boogie with....Hasnt been long but the memories will last forever........How can u dare say u arent coming back....? Thats ok ill just follow you. You cant get rid of us that easy.. Sorry boo. OH but it goes dwn for the going away party......


ahh. the weekend. $$

tons of fun but of course all good things must come to an end.
sorry if this hurts anyones feelings but my days of fun are limited.
gas is too high and unfortunately funds arent increasing at all. HMM ok. so im transferring next semester and have this strange feeling in my gut thats saying its not such a good idea. My first instinct about things are never wrong, and I have always felt as if Prairie View wasnt the school for me. I think it hit me the most when I actually registered for my classes and got my id.
I would love to keep it simple and just go to U of H but the idea of living at home scares me.
hmmmmmmm ill have to come up with something. SOON.

Monday, July 14, 2008

too damn funny

ok so im in the bed watching TRU tv...and its an episode declaring 20 individuals THE dumbest criminals ever.
Though I found most of them highly entertaining I just had to take notice to one in particular.
So some cop from wherever with the last name Sanchez....

Officer Sanchez did a routine drug bust in which he brought the drugs home with him instead of turning them in. 9 o clock that night he called 911 telling the operator that him and his wife had overdosed...when asked wht they overdosed on...he replied by saying marijuana....t
this dude was out of there...
He demanded an ambulance because he claimed that they were dead.
man it was just too funny because he started to ask the score of the local hockey game.
look it up on tru tv.
mighty funny....!

Monday, July 7, 2008

heck yah, im mad.

stuck in the friggin Lambert-St.Louis airport......My flight was scheduled to leave at 8:40 and for some odd reason it has been delayed until 12:25. sucks.
Ive spent my time blogging, e-shopping, and watching this dirt dude next to me find possible matches on eHarmony. too funny.....
WORDS IVE LEARNED on this trip:
lil nuts.
hmmm and the list goes on im kinda nodding off..

thick with it.
wop wop wow.

hehe too freakin funny.

this trip was very memorable...considering it was like my 15th time coming to the lou. My sisters friend Mariele got married so we got to meet all of their friends...People from st.louis, tennessee...bronx...atl...FLAWIDa. HEHE...too time..

well words r limited...eyes are closing toodaloo.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008


although im all for citizens having the right to bear arms and protect whats rightfully THEIR property I find it very hard to believe that the supreme court found that guy from Pasadena innocent.....yeh yeh he was protecting his neighbor but at what expense. Those guys did not deserve to die. Justice would have been served by the court and not a civilian. How can you get away with 2 murders claiming you were protecting a property thats NOT yours..
ok gotta go....

all i know is dude better move out of tex.

Saturday, June 28, 2008


Why is the whole community sooo consumed by the entertainment industry that we go through great lengths to ensure our involvement in it.

Not to act like I had no part of it because lord knows, the BET awards was the only thing i was talking about last Tuesday. 7 pm sharp.....i was sitting in front of my home-made television [projector hooked up to the comcast cable box] waiting to see who was going to open up the show and how they POSSIBLY were going to beat Moniques previous performances.

PAUSE FOR THE CAUSE: usher did horrible. What a way to start the show off bad. I mean it might have been ok if he did the remix to Love in this club and brought out B...only because thats my girl.......

How come every time Lil Wayne gets on stage he brings the whole damn family. Keyshia cole....nuh uh boo how about you try lip syncing like Usher because you cant dance and sing live at the same time. Anthony Hamilton.....I LOVE U. i love the suits you.

all i have to say is...BLACK PEOPLE....we GOTS to do better!!!

BLACK: a fad ????

Disclaimer: To even have to write this down is an abomination. Though the color of "our" skin has been accepted [and i use that term scarcely] we still have not made it to where we are "it". Sad to say i dont think we ever will.

Fashion is undeniably amazing in my book. No doubt about it very material, but now days what isnt. The fashion industry has to be one of the most competitive industries that offers a wide variety of paths to roam. I love every aspect of it. My main point of this is a very recent issue that has come up in the fashion industry. Last week Vogue italia launched their very first issue with black models. What an amazing accomplishment. In the midst of my celebration I began to wonder why.....I once read that they decided to incorporate african american models into their program because that is what seemed to be "in". My question is this. Why is it that black people, though accepted, are now viewed as some sort of accessory instead of being a part of whatever the topic is. Whether in the fashion industry, wall street or even in day to day relationships. To me it seems as if people who arent of color use blacks as a ladder to heighten their self-image and it disgusts me. Have we not proven our equality? These 2 beautiful young black women have made history. 19 years old- the same age as me- and they were chosen to represent black women all across the world in Vogue italias "black" issue. It urks me that in the 21st century we are still trying to prove our worthiness, and that the statement BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL is really true.
ok im through. im getting angry.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Another long day at wrk && once again my efforts have gone the driver seat of my truck that screeeeeeammms FABULOSITY....hmmmmm I wonder if theres dinner on the table.....

i love my car but in love with the gas that goes in it...$$


i dont need another introduction other than this..

First and foremost,
BARACK OBAMA for president!!!!!!

I must admit at the beginning of the current election, I was not running along side with Obama. [very strange coming from an African-American]. I totally disregarded the nationwide assumption that all blacks had to vote for THE black presidential nominee. As time past and I actually paid attention the the hopes, dreams, and what could eventually turn out to be BS from the candidates i went ahead i decided not to vote at all. A month went by and I realized why Obama was so significant.
Younger than my FATHER, embodies all of the qualities I could only dream for in a prez, and the fact that he looks like me is merely a plus. OBAMA FOR YA MAMA.

A young college student trying to find the right path. in love with ALL types of music......PAUSE FOR THE CAUSE: OK i thought this was soooo strange...just to let you know i am a HUMONGO kanye west fan. [psst.....mean as gangrene on the made up word scene] When the life of Donda West was taken away [god rest her soul] i felt his pain. WHEN I CRY YOU CRY KANYE!!! It was bad enough back then when this so called DOCTOR ,who caused her death, had previous DWI charges but this is just horrible. WHYYYYYY is it that. Adams was arrested on his 3rd DWI charge since 03, accused of driving his jaguar up an off ramp in Cali. ABSOLUTELY dumb.

-food fer thought.