Tuesday, January 6, 2009

end of the saga.

(trilogy didn't really apply)
hmm. seems like my thoughts are winding down when it comes to this blog issh. mainly because i refuse to just write anything ordinary.
school is about to start and i guess its a new beginning; for me that is. I no longer have anything designated for me to do. (other than class) YES! i guess there's no better time than the present so i might as well put my skills to use. well see how that turns out.

Ive been in the house all day bored out of my mind but too lazy to get up and do anything. I found myself thinking a lot about the many people and relationships I have encountered over the years.
Looking back,
the first thing that would come to mind is that they were fake. Sad to say but that sometimes included me. When i go deeper into each situation I cant really say it was fake because at the time it felt so real. I guess you can say I was chasing the happy. I didnt really know who I was because I was caught up in who I thought I should be. Dont get me wrong...I dont wish to take back any of it. J says learn to live with regrets but I dont have any. LOVE? let me not even go there. The seriousness of it all is hilarious; or it was back then. & i actually thought i was doin somethin smh. :/
if a lie gone get me through..id rather not know the truth. if the truth gone make me cry..id rather just live a lie.
-Jasmine Sullivan
Lol its crazy how growing up you go through things and it seems like the end of the world. Back then drama seemed to multiply. Relationships meant more..and essentially all the things that were important didnt matter.

Man, i did some out of line stuff growing up. lol. its nice to mature.
i think about all of the lies i told... In elementary school i used to tell the other kids that Martin Luther King was my uncle, because my moms maiden name is King. My dad owned Katy, TX because we lived off of the infamous Mason rd. The list goes on.
As I grew up I never wanted my parents to know what I was doing. Not because it was wrong but because I needed a sense of privacy in my life. Oh, and because my dad had a one track mind.
After it all Ive realized how important it is to stay true to yourself. The truth HAS set me free. More than ever I feel like I can talk about anything, to anybody without the wandering thoughts or feelings of uncomfort. Being an honest person has shown me that nothing can hold me back. Might not apply for everyone but Ill never go back.

i guess there's no real point to this post. who cares. just needed to write.
not sure how often ill be doing this..&& i didnt even think i would get this far. i thank everyone who has given me good feedback.


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